Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club

Scorecard

Woodham CC v Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team on Thu 19 Nov 2015 at 9pm
Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Won by 33 runs

Match report After a dark and stormy week, the Over 40’s were again to be found driving up the A12 to Chelmsford for their third round match versus Woodham. As with most of the players being welllll over 40, memories required a bit of a jolt so they remember to turn up. Anyway, Messrs Chambers, Khan, Aziz, Lord, Piracha and Chesney arrive. The moment any of them set foot in the changing room, the sledging begins. Piracha is accused of wimping out because of a so called groin strain he picked up walking to the station. *(It sort of makes sense because Matloob Piracha believes that god created feet so they can work the accelerator and brakes in a car, so for him to walk to the station 200 yards from his house could cause him to suffer a groin strain. I mean walking 200 yards, wow that’s so far).
Back to the match. I have absolutely no idea if we won the toss and quite frankly if we did win the toss we did the right thing in batting first. Being one of six captains in the team can prove difficult at times especially when all of the captains are too busy sledging each other. When we walk into the changing rooms (early for a change) Fayyaz has his pads on so we all assume that we are batting first. Time passes, the shouting continues and the Woodham Captain asks if we can do the toss as the umpires are waiting to begin. All heads turn to Fayyaz who says “I’m just trying out some new pads”. Shouts go out, JC is told to do the toss, which as it turns out , we win and we decide to bat so they chaos of the last 5 mins is not wasted.
The natural order of batting in the Over 40’s is simple, openers JC and Fayyaz, with Lordy coming in at three. The next three positions are decided by who can get to score first. Last night that was me, I got to the table first which meant that I was no 6 on the batting sheet. Piracha and Aziz were then seen arguing who is going in at 4 for the whole of the next two minutes. Ibrahim lost and so prepared to go 4. (**He had a big sulk on, so I suspect next time he will be quicker to the scorer’s table.)
“What about the match?” I hear you shout. Well first over…two excellent deliveries were defended by JC. The gallery explodes, “What the hell are we playing?” “Are we playing Test match cricket? Get on with it.” So JC and Fayyaz start manoeuvring the ball around and the total goes up and the overs are bowled out. Anyway retirement from the match is at 25, so Fayaaz, JC and Lordy all retire “UNLEASHING THE SHEER POWERHOUSES OF THE TEAM” (this time its sarcasm and not sledging). In goes Ibrahim. Lordy meanwhile has achieved the requisite 25 and retires allowing Piracha to join Ibrahim in the middle. Ibrahim doesn’t stay there to score a huge amount of runs, no he decides that it’s better to watch the match from the side than participate in it, so he gets himself out and in the final player has to go, kicking and screaming I may add. I didn’t want to bat, I was comfortably keeping score, shouting from the side lines, enjoying myself. But no, Ibrahim got himself out. Right, so I’m walking out to the middle and remember that the last time Matloob and I batted together I called for a run and he didn’t move. I have to say, that this time, Matloob played most Unmatloob like. He hit the ball and scored 25, without me there, I scored three and got out letting the retirees return. Anyway, in the 10 over, Wanstead accumulated 101 runs. A decent total to defend I thought. So I go and get padded up again, this time with the Keepers ensemble whilst the others practice *chucking* the ball at the stump area. If Woodham had stayed to watch this display of bowling, their confidence would have gone through the roof. Only one of the bowlers hit the stumps and that was only because they ran into them. It was not looking very promising. The total was looking to be achieved in extras, not one bowler looked like coming close to hitting the stumps. I was expecting to hear the umpires call “Wide, Wide, Wide” Anyway, the Woodham openers join us and the final innings of the evening begins.

JC opens the Wanstead account with some seriously fast bowling. Woodham gets the scoreboard ticking over and they try and get the run rate to beat the Wanstead score. So the overs are ticking by, Woodham are behind the rate needed so have to start taking some risk. They really didn’t have to as they could have relied on the Wanstead fielding to give them runs. Tonight, Wanstead’s fielding was comical. Fielders were pirouetting around the hall missing the ball, missing some catches. Not only the fielder, but the bowlers, Fayyaz especially. He bowls a ball, it appears to the keeper that it is coming down the off side, wide down the offside. An easy collection you might think, so the keeper positions himself to collect the wide. But no, the ball decides to spin to the leg side, which leaves the keeper totally stranded. The hall erupts with shouts from the keeper at Fayyaz telling him to bowl properly, none of this flash spinning malarkey. JC says to the keeper to look at the bowlers’ hand, the keeper replies that would be good advice if he could see that far. As this is all kicking off, the Woodham batsman agree with the keeper, this is shared with the Wanstead players who all say that they could do a better jobs behind the sticks. The Woodham players says he tried, so the keeper is just left to sledge the rest of the team relentlessly for the rest of the innings.
Other notable bits to report about the Woodham innings, Matloob bowled rubbish stuff down the leg side that the keeper kept brilliantly to. He says it was the groin strain that caused it. We say that he batted too long and that he was exhausted. JC made a serious mistake by giving Ibrahim a bowl. Ib bowled a nice delivery that sat up and the Woodham batsman had enough time to write “thanks” on the ball as he hit it straight back at him at about 100mph. Avoidance tactics were quickly deployed as Ib moved his head to the side and the ball went for a straight six. Next ball, the same thing happed only this time Fayyaz thought he could catch it, but pulled out leaving the JC to be doing the dying swan impression whilst trying to catch the ball as well. Luckily JC held on and the Woodham opening partnership had been broken. From this point on, the wickets fell regularly to the unfortunate running and calling of the batsmen. Although it has to be said that the Wanstead Keeper made an amazing stumping to remove one of the Woodham players. The players were amazed at the speed removal of the bails that they applauded the dismissal. Anyway, Woodham scored 68 in their innings but left the building saying that they had enjoyed the entertainment that Wanstead had brought to the match.














• *The sledging as you may have observed isn’t just contained to the match
• **More sledging



Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 6 wickets
0
101		        
Ramon Chesney  
Matloob Piracha  
John Chambers  
Ibrahim Aziz  
Alan Lord  
M. Fayyaz Khan  

Woodham CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Woodham CC Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 6 wickets
0
68 (10.0 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   

Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.