Chadwell Heath v Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team on Fri 12 Jan 2018 at 9pm
Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Lost by 1 wicket

Match report And so it falls on a friday night that 6 old gits find themselves driving to Chelmsford to play Chadwell Heath Over 40's in the sports hall in Moulsham School.
Although some figures have been entered that claim to be the totals made, all this author knows for a fact is how we lost, rather than the accuarcy of the stats. Let me reiterate, we LOST...again. (The totals for the match have officially been added to the website and make for terrible reading, shameful, one might say embarrassing)
Please dont think that I am taking anything away from Chadwell Heaths win, no, they won it in style. Thirteen off of 5 balls last man standing. He smacked 6's, hit the back wall and took the victory.It was the manner of how the first of those sixes was achieved is what is causing a little bit/f*****g large amount of angst. The team had bowled really well, scored our biggest score of the season so far, over 70. (Okay yeah, its been a rather poor season with the bat. The tail has wagged a little bit, but the batsmen of the troupe havent quite worked out how to use the slab of wood they have brought with them to hit the ball. Would that be a fair assessment of you perforamance this year Al?*). Alan will get a few mentions in this report because his cricketing ability entitles him to more mentions than the rest of the troupe. However, the other 5 certainly deserve a good mention as well and they will get it. So please dont feel left out that at the moment youve not been mentioned. We will be examning everyones performance and posing questions that will (as the coaching manuals say) "Get the players to think about what they did and "get the players to feel good about their contributions"

Errrrr...this is not your usual sort of rant. A new years resolution to support and build confidence in the team? Get players to feel that mistakes are okay? that the aim of turning up is enough, that its not just about winning? Ed

ED...I think your right, reading this is almost as bad a watching a primary school sports day and my ehtnic psyche has just woken up and shouted "git tay f**k".

That feels so much better. Im sorry I cant write nicey nicey. I can only write the facts and if they offend, I will apologise, but the facts must be out there. The world has enough fake news so I must strive to add to it, no correction fight against it.

So let me tell you how it really happened, blow by blow.

The first Blow was Richard losing the toss with the oppo's skipper and we were made to bat first. Rosie and Jim donned the appropriate attire and made there way into the arena. After a couple of overs of decent score building Rosie decided to run himself out. On arrival back with the rest of the team Rosie lets it known that hes apologising for the slow run chase. The team look at each other and mumble that there first two overs have been the quickest start to an Over 40's innings for as long as they have been going. The only reason why its relevant here is that once again this shows that Rosie has no idea what he is doing when on a cricket pitch.

The only real shining display tonight came from...(Dramatic pause)

(Looking at the figures for the batmen, it must be Jim who scored 26 and bowled well, or is it Ibrahim's diving runout which actually shocked all of the adult in the hall...Ed) (For one moment we thought Ib had killed himself because he wasn't moving and sprawled out on the floor. There were furtive looks between the players each worried if they were the one who would have to give Ib mouth to mouth to resuscitate him. But thankfully I was Ib just being exhausted from the effort.)

We are still no closer to identifying the "shining light" is! Ed

Okay Ed, you cant rush the story teller. The shining light was obviously the wicket keeper who had to put up with some shocking deliveries sent down by the bowlers. Eleven extras were chucked down by the bowlers in 9 overs. Shocking stuff. That keeper has his work cut out for him having to deal with all the wide's etc that are bowled. The wicket keeper that also came in at the tail a spanked a couple of boundaries. However all of this pails into insignificance when you read the epilogue to this nights outing.
This is the scene, Chadwell Heath had done well and were approaching the Wanstead total. Wickets had been falling steadily and they were down to last man standing. Its the last over, the first two deliveries are dots. Thirteen still required off of the last 5 balls. Wanstead are in the seat with winner written on it, then Rosie bowls a beauty, the batsman swings the bat and hit the ball straight back at Rosie. Its too high for Rosie to catch, but its perfect for the fielders patrolling the back. Alan or Sohail are going to take the catch that gives the Over 40's their second win of the season. A catch than the batsman knew himself was going to be a catch, it was a clean mishit, gently moving through the air, not going to worry any fielder as to whether it was going to hurt when caught or difficult because it was spinning. No, nothing was difficult about this impending catch. So what happened next you ask. Well six runs is what happened. Both Alan and Sohail started to go for the catch (and rightly so I may add) and then both of them backed out thus leaving this looping strike to hit the back wall. All kinds of mayhem broke out. The gallery of Chadwell Heath players roared with excitement, they were in with a good chance of winning. The rest of the Wanstead team were aghast as that should have been the winning catch. Well, still three deliveries left and they still have to get 7 runs. So the odds are still with Wanstead. Next delivery, the ball is clipped to the side and the bats calls for a simple runs and now its 3 to win off 2. A couple of decent deliveries and Wanstead can come home with a win. Rosie sends down a short ball outside of off stump the batsman's eyes light up and he smacks a six and gets the win. Well done Chadwell Heath well deserved win to you. All kinds of things are being chucked at Alan and Sohail in the school hallway, the school car park and the pub in Chelmsford afterwards. Suggestions of money in brown paper bags being accepted and the need to go to Specsavers are the things can be printed. Other forms of abuse can be shared if you contact the skipper directly. He has a book full of abuse he will happily share. One special one used by Alan himself is "Even Stevie Wonder could have caught that".
Well despite all that Wanstead Over 40's will continue to go to Chelmsford on a Friday evening. The Grumpy Old Men, will still have a laugh, score some runs, bowl some balls and in the end, despite all of their shenanigans, enjoy playing cricket.
Wow, what a philosophical ending to a match report. What has gotten into the writer? Ed

*Alan Lord had not scored a run all season. Scored a lovely Platinum Duck tonight by running himself out before facing a ball.

Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 6 wickets

(9.3 overs)
Alan Lord Run out  0
Sohail Ahmed Lbw  9
Richard Walsh Bowled  10
Ramon Chesney Not Out  8
Jim Croker Caught  26
Ibrahim Aziz Not Out  1

Chadwell Heath Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Chadwell Heath Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
6w 1b 4lb 
for 4 wickets
78 (9.3 overs)

Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Alan Lord3.0020120.006.67
Richard Walsh3.0022122.007.33
Jim Croker2.0012112.006.00
Sohail Ahmed2.001600.008.00